“A Tale of Isolation, A Song of Yearning”

Lonely.
So simple a word yet so heavy…its meaning is known to all, yet once in this state we repeatedly have to “explain” or “rationalize” this feeling not only to others but also to ourselves. The complexity of loneliness as a feeling, lies not in its meaning,but in its tendencies. Loneliness can be the breeding ground of many challenges in the mental health space. We must learn to navigate this feeling with a gentle touch and allow ourselves and others the room to cope.

Many people may feel “lonely” but the diagnosis may vary. Some feel lonely in the sense that they are misunderstood, others may be surrounded by people and feel out of it or out of place, there are those who feel it in a physical sense and seek companionship, love and remedies that seem more tangible to the human eye.

With all these differences one thing is certain, to be in a state of loneliness often breeds a desire to fill a void leading all loners(used lightly) to a state of longing.

Being in my 20s I have often found myself in this space…a sense of being un-tethered and alone but unable to communicate the deep feeling of emptiness to anyone else.

I spent most of my time retreating further and further into myself trying to figure out exactly what was going on with me…which led to more isolation. What I found interesting about these periods of loneliness was the longing that often followed. A strong desire to fill this loneliness without having the slightest clue where to begin.

I found myself constantly being asked by loved ones, how I was feeling, my honest answers never seemed to be enough. Oftentimes when a loved one makes the effort to check in, they believe they are owed an elaborate or detailed explanation and at times… failure to give them one is met with frustration.

The frustrations that back the “Why’s”, “How’s” and “Are You Sure’s?” may get to your loved one as much as their uncertain answers do you, because with the vastness and depth of this state of mind an “I can’t quite put a finger on it” or “I can’t really explain what I am feeling”, is an honest,open and soul-bearing answer. It may not look like it on the outside…but trust they have said all they can in that moment, for they seek answers just as you do,but to a test they didn’t opt for.

As we navigate life, we must try to hold space for everyone, every individual contains a multitude of unique experiences that make them who they are, these are experiences we can never be truly aware of. It is important to treat everyone with kindness and respect, giving them room to be comfortable enough to be themsleves, thus allowing us to take some of the weight they carry and make them feel less alone.

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Until next time, Stay in plain sight!