Anxiety or Laziness?
“I stay where I’m confident to limit my anxiety, I’m aware of what I do here, I control the risk…I’m…comfortable here.”

Have you ever been so scared by the potential outcome of trying something new just because you cannot guage the particular result?

Our muse sits behind a veil of plastic, transparent so she can see what she wants…what she could be…but still sits behind that thin veil, unable to bring herself to take a step toward uncharted territory. She knows where she is, she knows what’s around her…she is the master of this tiny space and holds on to the peace of being within what she can control.

Growing up, I had a hard time trying new things and grasping new concepts. As a child, I knew what I was good at and wanted to stick to it, succeeding to me was way more important than risking failure because I felt I always had eyes on me.

This posed some challenges as I got older, the fear of failure kept me from trying new things and to most people it seemed like I was simply unbothered and difficult…lazy even.

The truth of the matter was I was so afraid of embarassing myself and engaging in situations I could not control that I kept my distance. This fear was often taken for nonchalance and led to me being further discouraged by the words my inaction yielded in return.

It was extremely hard to navigate this crippling fear with it being seen for everything but what it was. It took some perspective and introspection to realize what was going on, I felt that with more understanding, and with a genuine interest taken in what could make someone so young act in such a way, I could have overcome or coped with this anxiety sooner.

It’s hard wanting something…seeing something and not being able to grab it, not only because you’re too afraid to try, but you’re afraid to fail. There are moments when it seems a person may be a hindrance to their own progress…or as some would say “their own worst enemy”, based on their slow response or their unwillingness to experiment or “grow”. With time, I have realized that there is almost always more than meets the eye.

Yes, in truth laziness can be the source of such action….or inaction, but for some, a desire for perfection means staying within the limits one can control…no unforeseen circumstances…no problems. Familiar territories will always be easy to navigate, it’s always important to remember to ask yourself why a person could do what they do, and hold space for them.

Every individual is more complex than they seem, at times it is easy to just cast someone aside and chalk their behavior down as them being taxing, I would like to encourage all readers to take a step back and try to be understanding of others, even when we do not know what is going on, objects in the mirror may be more layered than they appear.

PS. Kindly follow @pla.in.sight on instagram and visit our gallery for this week’s update.

Until next time, Stay in plain sight!